


Home

by kiite



Category: Yu-Gi-Oh! ARC-V
Genre: M/M, Not super graphic but just in case, Vomiting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-24
Updated: 2018-03-24
Packaged: 2019-04-07 04:16:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,373
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14072709
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kiite/pseuds/kiite
Summary: It doesn’t feel like home without you.





	Home

The sound of D-Wheels in his driveway always elicited strong reactions from Crow. Mostly, it was excitement, with the hopes that it was Shinji or one of Crow’s friends coming to visit. It was also fear that perhaps Security was dropping by, even though Crow hadn’t done anything particularly illegal as of late. The fear, however, always took a backseat to the excitement as Crow always hoped that it was Shinji pulling into the driveway.

When he stepped outside, Crow was mildly surprised to see Damon dismounting from his D-Wheel. It was unusual for Damon to visit alone; usually he was accompanied by Tony and/or Shinji. Crow made his way over to the other man, calling out a friendly greeting. He was about to inquire as to the man’s reason for visiting, but stopped when he saw Damon’s expression.

Damon was looking down at the helmet in his hands, avoiding Crow’s gaze. His face was both worried and sad, with traces of more complex emotions hidden beneath. He gingerly placed his helmet on the seat of his bike, using his now free hand to pull out a small envelope from his jacket pocket. Still not meeting Crow’s eyes, he extended the envelope to Crow, who accepted it in silence.

Crow waited for Damon to say something, anything; but nothing ever came. Damon put on his helmet and remounted his D-Wheel, preparing to leave without having exchanged a single word. Finally, he looked into Crow’s eyes, and Crow was startled how uncertain he seemed. Damon opened his mouth, as though he were about to say something, but he stopped himself. He closed his mouth and shook his head before driving away, leaving Crow standing in his own driveway, confused and terrified.

Crow did not wait to go back inside before he tore open the envelope, his nerves getting the better of him. Inside was a handwritten letter, addressed to him. He struggled to stay calm as he began to read:

_“Crow, I’m so sorry for what I’m about to tell you. I got mixed up in some unsavory business, and now it seems that Security is after me. There’s no way I could ever endanger you and the kids, so… My only option for right now is to hide out until the heat dies down. To avoid attention, I will have to keep correspondence to a minimum and will probably not be able to write to you often, if at all. Please know that it breaks my heart to do this, Crow. If there was any other way, I swear I would find it… As soon as I can, I’ll come right home. I love you more than anything in the entire world. Stay safe. –SW. P.S.: Please dispose of this letter once you’ve read it; I don’t want Security to have any proof that we spoke. My mistakes shouldn’t hurt you or the kids.”_

The letter was shaking in his hands as Crow finished. He wasn’t crying, but he sure as hell felt like it. He felt strangely…empty; whether it was because the situation hadn’t fully sunk in yet or because he had acknowledged there was nothing he could do to change it, he wasn’t sure. He carefully folded the letter back up, slipping it into his pocket and pushing the front door open. Life goes on, he supposed, and he had to go with it.

* * *

After a week and a half with no visits from Shinji, the kids finally asked Crow. He hadn’t told them about the letter; they didn’t need to shoulder the burden of that knowledge. Crow did enough worrying for all four of them. However, there was nothing he could do to stop the kids from wondering where their other caretaker was.

“Crow…” Amanda said, her voice quiet, “Is Shinji okay? He hasn’t come to visit since last Tuesday…” She was looking down at her feet, holding the hem of her dress in her hands. Frank and Tanner were behind her, both looking equally as worried. Crow felt a pang of guilt tear through his chest; but how could he tell them about the letter when he wouldn’t also be able to assure them that everything would be alright?

Crow kneeled down on the floor in front of Amanda, wrapping his arms around her and pulling her in for a hug. All three of the kids were somewhat surprised by this; while Crow was not at all stingy with his affection, it was rare for him to initiate it with so little forewarning. This was a clear sign that Crow was much more upset than he was letting on, which Frank and Tanner responded to by working their way into the hug.

“I…I don’t know.” Crow sighed, sounding tired. “I really wish I did, but I… I think he’s okay. I have to believe he’s okay. I don’t know where he is, or what he’s doing right this moment but… He said he’s going to come home, so I’m going to trust him. He’ll come home, he promised.” Crow was smiling, and it was sincere; he had faith in Shinji, as hard as it was right now. He leaned back and patted each of the kids on the head gently. “So we have to be upbeat and ready to greet him when he gets back, okay?”

Amanda smiled back, looking much less uncertain than when she had approached him. She nodded energetically, followed by Frank and Tanner, who both shared her look of determination. Crow was glad they had had this conversation, as it had strengthened his conviction and pulled him out of his worry, even if only a little. He internally praised his kids for being so strong and mature, pride welling up in his chest.

He wished Shinji could be here to share in the feeling.

* * *

A month had passed with no word from Shinji, and it was clearly taking a toll on the Hogan household. As the oldest, Amanda was doing her best to stay positive and helpful, taking up extra chores even though Crow assured her she didn’t need to. However, there were times when her smile faltered and she seemed to wilt, sadness and uncertainty getting the better of her. Crow found himself comforting her much more than usual.

Frank was doing his best to distract himself, constantly occupying himself with something or other. Tanner often joined him in whatever he was doing, happy to participate. Crow was glad that they weren’t worrying all the time, as he himself felt dangerously close to. The days seemed to crawl by as they all awaited Shinji’s return.

Crow was snapped out of his thoughts by the sound of D-Wheels outside. He hadn’t had any visitors since Damon had delivered him the letter, and he had been desperately awaiting the familiar noise. The kids had become more accustomed to it, as they heard it each time Crow returned home from an errand or a job, but it was much louder this time. They had all gathered in the living room, looking at Crow and then to the door.

Peering out the window, Crow’s heart sank as he saw two Security D-Wheels in his driveway. He motioned for the kids to stay inside as he stepped out to meet the officers. Both had dismounted their D-Wheels and turned to face him as he emerged. Crow, still very wary, did his best to be amiable with hopes of ending the conversation as soon as possible.

“Hello, officers. Is there something I can do for you?” Crow asked, his expression neutral and controlled. The officer on the left flipped through a packet of papers he was holding, before stopping on one near the middle. He pulled it out and displayed it to Crow.

“We have reason to believe Shinji Weber, who is currently evading arrest, may be in contact with you, Crow Hogan. This is a warrant to search your home for any clues as to the whereabouts of Mr. Weber.” Both officers were carefully watching Crow’s face for any flicker of unchecked emotion; Crow wouldn’t give them the satisfaction. He nodded calmly and uncrossed his arms.

“Alright.” He said, monotone. “The kids and I will wait out here while you conduct the search. Be as thorough as you like.” Crow stepped inside to call the kids out. They followed close behind him, eyeing the Security officers suspiciously. The men didn’t even acknowledge them, instead heading into the house to begin the search.

Frank tugged at Crow’s pants leg, getting Crow’s attention. “What are they doing, Crow?” he asked, sounding scared. Crow patted the boy’s hat reassuringly. “Don’t worry, kid. They’re just looking for something that’s not there. They’ll be outta our hair in no time.”

What he said was true; there was only one thing that would be troublesome if Security found it, and it wasn’t in the house. Crow hadn’t been able to bring himself to destroy Shinji’s letter; it was the last memento of the man he had. Every few days Crow would reread it, remembering Shinji’s promise to come home, before stashing it away in the hidden compartment within the Blackbird. Security wasn’t getting that unless they took it from his lifeless body.

After what felt like far too long, the men stepped out empty-handed. The officer who had showed Crow the warrant gave a stiff bow of apology. “Thank you for your cooperation. Sorry for the inconvenience.” The men drove away, and Crow’s polite facade crumbled. He spit on the ground and shoved his hands in his pockets.

“Let’s go back inside, kids.” Crow said as softly as he could, though he still sounded angry. The kids nodded, rushing back inside and starting to tidy up the mess Security had left behind. Crow helped, closing drawers and cabinets and picking up fallen clothing and rags. _He’ll come back. Alive._

* * *

Crow laid in his bed, which had felt far too empty lately, rereading Shinji’s letter. The paper was soft and torn from being handled so much over the past four and a half months. He only read it late at night, quickly, before hiding it again. As he moved to go return it to his D-Wheel, he froze as he heard a familiar noise outside.

His first thought was, of course, hopes that Shinji had returned. He kept this at the forefront of his mind any time he heard the roar of an engine. His second thought, which was becoming increasingly worrying, was that Security was back. And Crow was currently holding the only piece of incriminating evidence in his hands.

Crow shoved the paper into his back pocket and ran to the window, peering out carefully. He sighed in relief as he saw a D-Wheel that was remarkably similar to Shinji’s, but with a few minor differences that an untrained eye probably wouldn’t notice. So it was Damon.

The kids were all asleep, so Crow silently slipped out into the humid night. Damon had taken off his helmet quickly, looking directly at Crow. His demeanor was radically different from their interaction four and a half months ago, but it still put Crow on edge. In the low light he was unable to read the man’s face for any sign of the type of news he would be delivering.

“Have you heard the news?” Damon asked quietly but with excitement. He pulled out a newspaper and handed it to Crow. “They’re closing the investigation on the case Shinji’s caught up in. I guess they found tons of proof of falsified evidence.” He tapped his foot impatiently on the ground. “We’ve been telling them that he’s innocent the whole time, the bastards. But once this news reaches Shinji…” Damon gave Crow a genuine smile that seemed to pierce through the darkness of the night.

“...He can come home.” Crow finished, feeling the most hopeful he had in weeks. He squinted at the newspaper and confirmed everything Damon had said to be true. Crow put his hands on the other man’s shoulders, thanking him profusely for the news. Then he moved on to the next thing he had to ask.

“Do you… know where he is?” Crow asked hesitantly. Damon’s smile immediately dropped, and he turned his head away from Crow. Crow stepped back, understanding the nonverbal answer. After a moment, Damon spoke up quietly and slowly.

“I haven’t had any contact with him since he gave me that letter..” Damon said, sounding regretful. “After that, he told me he was going into hiding, but he didn’t tell me anything else. I… I don’t know if he’s… y’know…” Damon trailed off, not wanting to finish the thought. Neither of them could bring themselves to voice that particular fear.

Without exchanging any more words, Damon climbed back on his D-Wheel and secured his helmet. Before he could drive away, Crow grabbed his arm gently. He looked at Crow, surprised.

“I…” Crow started, not quite sure what to say. “I… I believe he’ll come back. I don’t know why, I don’t have any proof but there’s just something that tells me he’s alright. How pissed do you think he’d be if he found out we were sitting around thinking he got himself killed?” Crow said, trying to lighten the mood at the end.

Damon blinked at him a couple of times, then smiled. “Heh, yeah, you’re right. He’d probably say something like, ‘You should have more faith in your friends, Damon.’ He always does.” Damon gave Crow a warm look. “Thanks, I mean it. It’s way too early for me to give up on Shinji. I shouldn’t even be thinking like that. Keep holding in there, Crow.”

With that, he drove away into the tranquil night. Crow watched him until his familiar D-Wheel was out of sight, feeling a powerful new hope welling up in his chest. Shinji could come home now: Crow just had to wait for him.

* * *

At the five month mark, the kids stopped asking about Shinji.

At six, they didn’t even talk about him. Crow looked too sad whenever they did.

* * *

Crow had taken to drinking. He had never really enjoyed alcohol, and he still didn’t; but it was more pleasant than letting his mind wander freely. He never drank around the kids, and he didn’t bring any alcohol into the house. He just frequented a shitty bar within walking distance and drowned his sorrows a few times a week.

The seven month mark had passed him by with little fanfare, and now the eighth was creeping up. At this point, Crow wanted anything; he would even take news about Shinji’s death. He just couldn’t stand the radio silence and the uncertainty that came with it.

Crow felt bad for the kids; losing their other caretaker was hard on them, but Crow knew that he hadn’t been himself for a while. He couldn’t let them lose both their guardians.

It was a shitty night, Crow thought to himself as he stumbled home. The air felt thick with pollutants, and the wind was biting at his exposed arms. He had had a little too much to drink, much more than he would usually have. But there was nothing he could do now; he had made his bad decision and he would have to deal with it in the morning.

Crow was suddenly struck by the urge to vomit, which he promptly acted on. He stepped off the street and into the bushes, emptying the contents of his stomach. In that moment, hunched over on the side of the street sometime around one in the morning, Crow felt truly pathetic.

And, he cried. Since the day he first read Shinji’s letter, Crow hadn’t shed a single tear; he had resolved to be strong for the kids. But now, gripped tightly by the influence of booze and the fear that Shinji’s body was rotting somewhere, Crow sobbed. His body shook wildly as he released the tears he’d been holding back for nearly eight months, crying without restraint.

Fifteen minutes passed before Crow pulled himself back to his feet. He was a mess; his eyes were red from crying, and he reeked like booze and potentially vomit. Despite all that, he felt a little bit better after crying. It wasn’t much, but it was something.

The rest of the walk home was more of a stumble. Crow’s vision was hazy, and his feet weren’t always moving how he wanted them to. Eventually, he approached his house, nearly tripping as he passed through the gate.

Something was different. Something good.

The D-Wheel parked in his driveway was not his own. It wasn’t Damon’s, either. It was Shinji’s.

Which meant it was Shinji standing next to it, throwing off his helmet and rushing over to Crow, who hadn’t quite realized yet that he had fallen to his knees in shock.

“Crow! Crow!” Shinji kneeled down, putting his hands on Crow’s shoulder and shaking him gently. Crow blinked a few times, still looking at Shinji’s face. He slowly ran one of his hands down the other man’s face, realizing that this was either real, or an extremely vivid hallucination.

“S...Shinji? Are you- Is this… real?” Crow asked, his hand not leaving Shinji’s face. Shinji grabbed Crow’s hand with both his own, holding it tightly to his heart. If he smelled the alcohol or vomit, he didn’t say anything, just squeezed Crow’s hand.

“Crow… I’m so sorry, I’m so fucking sorry. I never meant to be gone for this long. It must have been so hard on you… It was so awful for me too, to not be able to see you and kiss you and hold you, but with the kids…” Shinji released Crow’s hand and pulled him into a full on hug, both still kneeling on the ground. Despite his slightly impaired state, Crow realized that Shinji had lost a lot of weight, his arms seeming a lot less muscular as he held Crow. “Can you ever forgive me for being gone so long?” Shinji whispered, his voice weak.

Crow thought he had already cried all his tears earlier, but clearly he hadn’t. He cried into Shinji’s shoulder, staining the fabric of his riding suit with his tears. Shinji patted him on the back comfortingly, moving his other hand to hold the back of Crow’s head. They continued like this for a few minutes, until Crow had calmed down enough to speak.

“Shinji… We all missed you so much. _I_ missed you so, so damn much. I thought- I thought you were dead, or, or-” Crow broke off, gasping for breath. “But I always… I always believed you’d come back, because you said you would. I love you so much, Shinji, I’m so glad you’re okay. I’m so glad you’re here. I’m so glad…” his exhaustion finally catching up with him, Crow drifted off to sleep in his partner’s arms. The last thing he remembered was the quiet murmuring of Shinji in his ear, holding him tightly.

* * *

Afternoon was drawing close as Crow awoke. He had a terrible hangover, and he just wanted to stay curled up in his sheets. Suddenly, he remembered the events of last night and shot up in bed, glancing to his left. The bed was empty.

Fuck. Of course it was. Crow wanted to cry; he had been drunk off his ass, clearly not in his right mind. Why would Shinji have come back right then, like a white night, to sweep him into his arms in his moment of greatest despair? He pulled his head down behind his knees and drew himself in.

“Hey, are you awake?” Crow’s head shot up and he saw Shinji standing there, peeking around the doorframe. “I know it’s kind of late for it, and you probably don’t feel great, but the kids and I are making breakfast, so--” Before he could finish his sentence, Crow launched himself at Shinji, wrapping his arms around him. Shinji startled before slowly returning the hug.

“Hey, hey, it’s ok. It’s alright.“ Shinji spoke softly, quietly. “I came home, like I promised.”

“Yeah.” Crow said, exhaling. For the first time in months, a sincere smile spread across his face. “Home.”


End file.
